Dr. David Robins
April 13, 2008
Imagine if you will, writing your memoir, with each chapter representing a moment when you shed tears. A chapter on tears of joy. A chapter on tears of sorrow. A chapters on tears of awe. A chapters on tears of physical pain. A chapter on tears of frustration. A chapter on tears of relief. Imagine if you will, that these moments have been the most important in your life. Theses moments or times of tears represent your most profound experiences and understanding of what it means to be human, and alive. These moments have built your character and shaped your soul.
I remember the tears that accompanied my sobbing of sorrow and my uncontrolled laughter. Both left me gasping for breath and inhaling great gulps of breath. The word spirit refers to breath, and we are filled with spirit from our first breath to our last. Darwin noted that weeping is one of the “special expressions of the human being.” Other animals, such as elephants shed tears, and recent writers have advanced research that other animals sometimes weep emotionally in the same manner as do people.
Tears have been considered sacred and redemptive. During the great ages of monastic life in medieval times, monks and nuns treated tears as a gift of grace from God. They called tears, “spiritual inebriation.” Tears are a primal language that speak of sorrow, fear, humility, shame, pain, and even humor. Tears accompany many of life’s most emotional moments: birth, death, passion, love, marriage, divorce.
Some scientists think that tears are the way in which the eyes cool or clean themselves. Tears carry chemicals generated by emotions that would cause physical problems if the chemicals were not eliminated. Some peopled think that tears are a sign of mental health, and others claim that tears are part of an emotional instability that should be replaced with rational living.
No simple or definitive translation of the language of tears is possible in a ten minute sermon, let alone a 300 page book, though Tom Lutz attempts to do so in his book, Crying, A natural and Cultural History of Tears.
Tears are first mentioned in writing in Canaanite clay tablets 3400 years ago. On the tablets is a story about a goddess weeping for her slain brother. In this ancient culture, like many other ancient agricultural societies, it was believed that certain members of the tribe needed to gather together to weep each spring in order to induce the rains to come. Tears bring the earth back to life.
Several of the psalms in the Hebrew tradition speak of this connection between tears and sustenance and new life:
“May those who sow in tears, reap in joy.”
“You who go forth weeping bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing sheaves..”
“My tears have been my food day and night.”
Early theologians developed elaborate systems for tears, and how tears connected the person with God through:
Tears of contrition
Tears of gladness
Tears of sorrow
Tears of grace
In 1375, Walter Hilton wrote, “…just so, shall bitter tears truly through fervor of charity be turned into the wine of spiritual comfort.”
Margery Kempe, writer of the first woman’s autobiography in 1430, described her emotional state during a mystical experience; “it surpassed any melody that might be heard in this world, without any comparison, and caused this creature to have plenteous and abundant tears of high devotion.”
Physiologically, tears are a kind of liquid sandwich or “fluid sandwich” for the eye. (Abraham Werb). Three different kinds of tears are recognized: “basal, psychic, and reflex. Basal tears are the continuous tears that lubricate our eyeballs.” A blocked tear duct can be a painful or difficult medical condition.
“Reflex or irritant tears are produced when we chop onions, get sand or dust in our eyes, or get poked in the eye.” The eyes are an amazing organ. I have gotten gasoline in my eyes, and suffered an abrased cornea, but my eyes were able to heal. Every morning in the winter when I run outdoors, my eyes tear up with basal and irritant tears. Though I cannot see where I am going for a few minutes, I welcome these tears as a sign that I am still alive in a certain way and that I am capable of tears. One morning while running up Union Street, my nose smelled skunk spray and my eyes teared up as a reaction.
“Psychic or emotional tears are those caused by and communicating specific emotional states. Most of the tears and tearful experiences that we remember are interwoven with our emotional states. Tears are not always noble or spiritually uplifting. I have shed tears “…of humiliation, frustration, and shame, --tears that have nothing to do with happiness.” ( Tom Lutz) I remember those moments all to well, and they mark themselves upon my spirit, as lessons learned all too deeply, captured for all my life in my memories, I hope as needed building blocks in my character.
These painfully gained building blocks are cemented alongside “Tears of truth, tears of tribute, tears of empathy, tears of devotion” (Tom Lutz)…I hope these are markers of a sincere and truthful spirit. It is in these tears that I remember that I am connected with the lives of others, connected with the earth, and connected with a force greater than myself.
Tears are often connected with the moments of grief in our lives. “…the ancient Greeks, Romans, and Hebrews, as part of their funeral rites would cry into lacrimatories. These small vials, full of tears were often sealed up and buried with the deceased, which on the one hand was a way of burying one’s feelings, but which on the other hand was a way of offering a tribute to the deceased, giving of one’s own tears as if they were flowers or gifts.” (Tom Lutz)
I am at times an emotional person. I recall many weddings union ceremonies, funerals and child dedications in the church when I could feel the emotional tears welling up inside me. I am unable to cry and lead these services at the same time, I hold it back and keep speaking of love, whether it is a new beginning or the ending of a life. I take a deep breath. Breath is the meaning of the word spirit, and it is to breath that I turn when I cry. Just as long as I have breath, I must say yes to sorrow, and yes to laughter. Grief and laughter are two of the emotional markers to my spirit, and though I daily inhabit the space between these markers, each day brings my spirit to one or both of these markers.
“These three different kinds of tears, basal, reflex, and psychic, have not only different functions but different compositions—they contain differing concentrations of chemicals, hormones and proteins.” (Tom Lutz)
Our tears accompany our most profound experiences and understanding of what it means to be human, and alive. These moments shape our character and water the roots of our soul. Our tears are the chapters in our lives. They are the chapters of our autobiography and memoirs.
